You Don't Realize But I'm Already Gone (Camarat/Elske)

[Aelodil]

Camarat had raised an eyebrow at Elske's statement while they were still in the city. She was frustrated, was she? Boy oh boy if she knew the half of what he felt. It wasn't that he understood why she was being so difficult but by the same token he was struggling here. For all his compassion, being extremely polite, warm, and friendly with someone who basically shut themselves in a room with no doors wasn't exactly easy. Of course he didn't let this show on his features. After all, he had had millennia to keep himself composed at all times. On the outside he simply seemed wary and tired, not something he needed to fake at that point.

Cocking his head slightly he asked, "And you think I won't be able to offend you? Well I do hope not. Seems I already have a habit of doing so without meaning to." Not quite sure how he could contend with this. He himself still didn't know entirely why he had done what he had done but didn't bother trying to stop it now.

Nodding several times, Camarat was slightly shocked. He still didn't understand how someone like Elske, so mature, could seem like an irresponsible youngster. She seemed to take everything exactly how he meant it and interpreted things most people her age wouldn't interpret properly. Hearing her story he winced inwardly. Though most people would pity her he didn't. He felt sorry for her, yes, but didn't pity her. Pitying her was much the same as saying she was stuck on a lower level of existence and he doubted she'd appreciate his pity. More likely than not she'd slap his pity back in his face.

"You have my sympathies then. Glad to hear your previously grim situation didn't dull Fenir's curiosity at the very least." hoping to lift spirits up a little. He doubted it'd work but hey, he had to give it a shot.

Biting his lip to keep back a chuckle which would most likely perish any of her doubts as to whether or not he was senile, he couldn't help the retort, "Technically you can fly. All it takes is a little magic. Though I doubt you'd appreciate that." his eyes twinkling slightly with humor. It was a habit of his to create his own wings of magic and fly around with them, regardless of how tiring it was.

Noticing Elske's gaze flick downwards, Camarat recognized her posture. It was that of unease. Reaching a hand up to scratch the back of his head, he sighed. Perhaps he had rushed it a little bit. After all, he was dealing with a woman who had avoided human contact more or less for the past few years. Her experiences with sentient beings was more often than not bad, of course she'd be uneasy if Camarat were to suddenly barge in on her life and tel her that he wanted her to become human and social again.

A stab of pain went through his heart as he remembered what little "solace" he had been able to offer the prisoners under the castle. Then some more as he remembered the sights even worse than that; forming Shades, corrupting Dragons and Dragon Spirits alike, turning little boys into mindless and broken assassins. Resisting the shiver that went up his spine, he put on a face of defiance. He had realized the fact that Elske must have known something underneath the castle but he didn't press it. Mainly for the reason that he himself couldn't stomach what she probably knew without wanting to raze human cities.

Catching the slightest smile from the corner of his eyes, Camarat's eyebrows shot up. Well that was definitely unexpected. Pleasant surprise nonetheless though. By the same token however he noticed she still didn't exactly appreciate his use of the term "us" and "our". That would take time to adjust to, he guessed. He would give her the time she needed. After all, what was another few months or years in the face of 1,200 years? Nothing, really.

Finally reaching his house, Camarat couldn't help the chuckle that escaped his throat at Elske's expression after he said 'welcome home'. He knew she wouldn't be the biggest fan of the fact that much of his house was fastened on magic but she'd have to learn to deal with it if she were to become a normal human again.

Noticing Fenir's original anxiety at entering the tree, Camarat was pleased to see the large dog enter. Patting a large padded cushion in one of the rooms, he called out, "Come here Fenir. I do think you'll like this." Though he doubted the cushion would be much good for anything other than the dog's resting place from thereon after.

Not waiting to see Elske's reaction he gestured for her to sit in the main room, a spacious room with a tall roof. The north, south, and east of the room's extremities were filled up with large, but short, couches facing a large table in front of them. Turning to the left, he walked through a large doorway that led to his kitchen. Camarat set to work on two cups of tea.

As he waited for the tea, he smiled sadly at Elske's comment. At least she was trying. "Why, I do thank you. Make yourself at home. I'll have a cup of tea ready soon enough. I'll show you my bedroom later. You'll sleep there. I'll make due here on the couches with Fenir. Unless of course you rather Fenir slept nearby you."

Not entirely surprised at her question he cocked his head. "The royals get rather agitated when I'm not nearby. And by the royals I mean the Council, among others. They all need something from the magical Wizard. Whether it's signing a document for official business or what-not or just some silly request like, 'Please Camarat can you bless my daughter?' they don't care. They just want me to be able to be nearby for them to ask it. And frankly I already can't stand it when they're in a good mood, let alone in a poor mood."

Turning back to the tea, he took the two cups to the table and sat on one of the couches as he took a sip. "Well then. Do you care to tell me how it is you're so old, in human terms anyway, yet retain your youthful appearance?" Quickly to cover up he added, "Not that I care anyway. Just making small talk, if you will."

When you die, your world ends. The world may go on, but in your eyes, the world ends with you.

-Carpe Diem

[Harbor]

Elske shook her head, bland. ”I think you’re clever enough you could easily find the ways, if you tried. I’m saying suggesting thieves such as myself have no honor, or asking me why I make it a habit to treat kind people unkindly, or other similar statements generally no longer bother me. The truth isn’t offensive. Plus I’ve got to care about someone’s opinion before they can use it to hurt me.” Elske noticed her right hand was fisted and looked down at it with distaste, consciously loosening it and shaking out the tense joints. ”For what it’s worth,” she said slowly, not convinced it was worth anything, ”my irritation hasn’t got much value. You might as well try to sell water to the fish.”

As far as his sympathies went, while she didn’t feel the need to brush them off, she didn’t feel the need to let them linger on his mind either. She shrugged. ”You’re probably more in need of them than I am, but thank you.” As it always did, mention of Fenir made her lips flicker up, and because the hound always made her edges soften, she crouched so Fenir could press his head down into her chest, and rubbed his heavy shoulders. Be kind, be kind, be kind. She smiled down at the oversized dog. ”I had to carry him against my chest for three weeks before he stopped flinching when I turned to face him. His previous owner was worth less than a smear of butter on a blister. He came around, though. Fenir, not the owner.” She tried not to think about the owner. Her blood had been thick with soot and soil that day, seeing the state Fenir had been in, that she’d forgotten that just because she was capable of something it didn’t give her the right to do it. Elske didn’t consider herself a murderer for the fate of her taken son in Uru’Baen, or for those she’d killed in the war. But because of her actions with Fenir’s owner sometimes she wondered if she didn’t deserve the title now.

She looked up at him with alarm when he said she could fly. ”If ever I feel the need to reach the highest apple I’ll let you know.” She gestured for Fenir to go to Camarat, and the hound trotted over and sniffed all around the edges of the cushion, even sticking his head underneath it to see what secrets lay beneath.

She stood again. ”Actually I’ll be happier out here with him.” She gestured toward Fenir, who was on his back on the cushion already. She’d brush the cushion off in the morning. Honestly she’d be happy sharing the cushion with him. Cushions were generally more comfortable than grass. Fewer insects. ”I haven’t slept in a bed long enough I don’t think I’d be able to sleep.” Plus that was his personal space. Elske’s own personal space was stiff enough she doubted she’d ever feel comfortable encroaching on anyone else’s, even if it was offered.

Elske stood in the center of the room and turned, inspecting the ceilings and corners and crannies. It was a warm-looking place. ”You’re not their mother, leave them be,” she mused, and absently lifted a cup of the tea because she was thirsty, and because she recognized that it was the friendly thing to do. At his question she rubbed the back of her neck.

”I went to Ellesmera once, to ask the elves for help. They said no, I left, and got stuck in a rockslide. I was bleeding out and that was fine with me, but some elf came along and started putting all the blood back in and straightening what was broken. I tried to fight him off and he won that fight. He hated me for wanting to die and I hated him for taking away my right to choose when and how my life ended. He told me I was wasteful and spiteful, and said he was giving me enough time to find a cause to live for instead of a cause to die for.” She scowled. ”I woke up some fifteen years younger than I had been, and haven’t aged since. I’m seventy-nine this year.”

Remembering another behavior of friendly people, she slid Fenir’s harness and her satchel from her shoulders, minding the untouched cup of tea, and stacked them neatly by the tree-door, finally sipping the tea when she straightened. ”Is that something you can fix?” she asked at last, sinking onto the very edge of an armchair. She wasn’t in the habit of sitting unless she was working on something not easily done while standing; she had to remind herself that friendly people didn’t pace. She was not an animal. ”Though I suppose you’re rather familiar with the phenomenon of not looking your age.”

[Aelodil]

Giving a slightly exasperated sigh, Camarat wondered what it would take for Elske to become normal again. He saw her reasons though he didn't quite agree with them. This whole business of attempting to draw someone out of their social shell was not easy for Camarat, not at all. He wasn't a man who's used to even being all that social. Most his interactions with younger people were much like the actions of a guardian angel. The only people he ever interacted with that were close to his age tended to be hot headed and it more often than not ended up with him having to calming them and keeping them in line. It wasn't particularly something he enjoyed but then again someone had to do it. Perhaps that was his issue; his weird want to help everyone and anyone regardless of who they may be.

Raising a quizzical eyebrow at Elske he wondered what she meant. Why would he need sympathies? Other than the hell he dealt with by dealing with the Council his life was more or less pleasant. In all fairness he enjoyed interacting with the youngsters. It was refreshing in his mind. Hearing what he could only describe as cruelties of a human to an animal, Camarat's eyes darkened and his expression went from peaceful to downright frightful. Not many people would expect to see such an old and frail looking man with a look of utter power on his expression.

Taking a deep breath to calm himself down, he made sure to compose his appearance. It wouldn't do to show her that he, much like anyone else, could lose his composure. If anything he enjoyed the youngsters who seem to think he was a creature of myth and fable who would never lose his calm.

Fenir, for his part, seemed to notice his name being mentioned and his head came up in excitement. Giving a soft smile, Camarat stood up and walked over to where Fenir was laying down now and pat the dog on his head, giving him a good scratch behind the ears. He didn't think he'd ever get sick of interactions with animals. If anything he preferred that to the interactions with most humans.

At the comment about Elske flying, the tips of Camarat's mouth quirked up in amusement and his eyes seemed to have a twinkle that danced in amusement. "Don't worry, if ever you do want to reach the highest apple I doubt you'd need much help. Likely you would just climb." his voice dripping with sarcasm. He was glad she seemed slightly more open. Not that it was saying much.

Raising an eyebrow, Camarat worked the puzzle. "So that's why you were so angry when I healed you. I beg your pardon then. I didn't realize what you'd been through." continuing on he thought out loud, "That sounds much like what an Elf would do in said situation. I think in that regard Elves and Wizards and Dragon Spirits are alike. Perhaps it's because of the fact that we do have some Elf in us. Though while I believe Elves would do it for the fact that it'd be wasting life, Dragon Spirits and Wizards would do it as an act of kindness if you will." realizing that in Elske's case anything in regards with magic was against her will.

At her question about whether or not he can revert the spell, Camarat grimaced. Chances were he probably could but just that thought alone, of tampering even further in this already wronged path was not something he would look forward to. Hesitating, he finally came to a conclusion. "I probably have the ability to. However, I don't think I personally can. My extremely long years spent have come with much knowledge of both the forbidden and otherwise. Along with it came the responsibility of such knowledge and power. Some things are not meant to be tampered with. For instance, the Elf in question shouldn't have even done it to begin with. Furthermore, if I were to undo the spell.. chances are it would revert your entire body to how it last was in its healthy state before he cast the spell. You would be a young woman again, and chances are you would still live at least an extra 20 years over other humans. If you still want me to do this, I will.. think about it, I suppose. No promises however. Like I said, some things were not meant for us mortals to tamper with."

When you die, your world ends. The world may go on, but in your eyes, the world ends with you.

-Carpe Diem

[Harbor]

This armchair was ridiculously soft, and she hadn’t expected for her weight to cause the cushions dip the way they did. She ought to have spent more time sneaking in and out of nobles’ houses, pretending to be just one of the maids. She’d forgotten what cushions felt like. One could not immediately stand and sprint from a cushion. ”Whether or not I’d be successful remains to be seen.” She’d been as decent a tree-climber as any other peasant, she supposed, before losing a portion of her ribcage. But afterward, knowing the guard she’d designed wasn’t perfect and never would be, she’d mostly left tree-climbing to the birds and chipmunks, being afraid to fall and catch herself on a limb. She’d seen a man drop unconscious in an instant once when punched too hard in the side of his stomach, and didn’t want to experience it herself, especially since that part of her torso now had absolutely no natural protection.

Elske sipped at her tea, finding she quite liked the taste, now that she’d paused long enough to pay attention to it. She just shook her head at his apology. ”Don’t worry about it.” Now that he understood why she’d reacted as she had, an apology wasn’t necessary. She neither needed or wanted anyone feeling as though they owed her anything, even time in their own thoughts; she only ever wanted their comprehension, if she wanted anything. ”It’s probably not something most people would object to.” It was natural instinct for most sentient creatures to assist each other when they thought they easily could. Elske was the one who wanted no part of it.

She nodded to his assessment of his possible treatment to her situation. Accepting more magic into her body wasn’t what she necessarily wanted either, but at least this thought gave her something to ruminate on. ”Fair enough. I’ll leave it buried in embers then.” Where the thought could get warm if she left it long enough, but she wouldn’t have to worry about it burning. Most people never realized that burying their food with the right things was a marvelous way to cook it.

Fenir stood from his cushion and trotted over to her, laying his massive head on her knee, and Elske sat the teacup aside to return to the tree-door and open it to let him out so he could find something to eat. She tried to keep fresh eggs with her for treats, since he liked them so much, but thankfully she’d run out just before being captured, or they’d have smelled them in her belongings by now. He was used to foraging for his own food, and never seemed to mind, not that he minded coddling either.

”So aside from all the petty foolishness with the Council,” she said as she sank back into the deep armchair, ”what else do you regularly do?”

[Aelodil]

((So I'm gonna assume we just close this here and move on to the arc a few months later? How do you wanna do this?))

When you die, your world ends. The world may go on, but in your eyes, the world ends with you.

-Carpe Diem