Dragon

[dragonboy132]

Full Name:Dragon

Other name:Rage

Race:Shade

Side:Empire

Birthplace:Gil'ead

Age:27

Gender:male

Birthday:May 28

Eyes:dark red

Hair:black,short

Weight:150lbs

Height:6'0

Magic User:yes

Clothing:black/red top,black gloves,black pants,black shoes

Preferred Weapon:black longsword,made of obsidian metal

Personality:Rage is impatient, likes to be alone, and is very destructive. In battle, he is very powerful. Rage is loyal to King Galbatorix. He will do anything for him. Rage also enjoys slaughtering people and animals.

Likes/Dislikes:He does not like elf's at all. Loves water and also despises dwarfs. Rage dislikes the varden very much. He likes to see blood from a dying person.

Family:father named Jack and mother named Christine

Brief History:When born, his mother died of childbirth.His family was very poor which would turn out to be deadly. His father died when he couldn't afford medicine that was needed for his sickness a few years later. He was adopted by a sorcerer named Fiji. Fiji came from a mystical city that is unknown to Alagaesia. Rage got to be fiji's apprentice when he showed potential. Rage got mad, because of a fierce argument between them. He then summoned a evil spirit took over him. The controlled rage killed the sorcerer that adopted him.He then went to King Galbatorix to serve him.

[Velethelin]

I know i'm not a mod or admin, but i'm just giving you a little heads-up. You will never get accpeted with this profile. It is WAY to brief, so if you plan on getting in you really should go into detail with your character.

[dannylam4]

Use complete sentances. Until most of your sentances are grammatically correct, I won't even think of accepting you. Don't hit the enter button like that. It just makes everything look stupid. You're 7'5 and only 175 pounds. You have to be the skinniest giant shade I have ever known. There's no way you're going to be Yaoi Ming, alright, so shrink your char down and make his weight more reasonable. Your history doesn't even include how he became a shade. Detail, lots more detail in everything. And your char has no reason for the nickname "Fang" unless he acts like a dog.

[dragonboy132]

Thanks for the heads up.

[Vavrinec]

First of all, dont bunch it up like that. It makes it difficult to read. Secondly, your full name is kind of... weird. Also, use complete sentences!!! Why did Rage get mad at the sorceror who adopted him? That doesnt make sense. Also, I dont know what the whole not liking furry animals is about. Your personality needs work. You have to be more than "evil".

[dragonboy132]

I can not think of a better name. I am very sorry, I tried my best to come up with a better story.

[dannylam4]

Just think about it. Create an actual story instead of just pieces. Who was this sorcerer and where did he come from? And what has he done since he has become a shade? And use complete sentances. "His family was poor." etc. etc.

[Metri]

Dragon probably isn't the best name

[Ragond]

Try scrambling a random brand name, to get a fantasy name. I see a Systemax lable: Ystemsax. I'm using Mozzila Firefox: Zomzia Irfexof, Ext. Ext. Ext. Overal, this needs work. More detail overal.

[Nihael]

that tis an interesting idea Ragond... never thought of that... kinda think of stuff that sounds interesting, I guess I do use that somewhat, as my name Nihael is a twist off my middle name...

I would suggest you learn how to Capitalize things and for the history, it ould help if you fleshed it out a bit. Such as, your nickname is Rage, and I noticed you apparently destroy and kill quite a bit, maybe you are called Rage because you have a very short temper or something like that?

[Metri]

ragond said:

Try scrambling a random brand name, to get a fantasy name. I see a Systemax lable: Ystemsax. I'm using Mozzila Firefox: Zomzia Irfexof, Ext. Ext. Ext. Overal, this needs work. More detail overal.

Whoa I do that too!

[drizzt]

Fiji?He used Fiji, that is a type of water.

[dannylam4]

drizzt said:

Fiji?He used Fiji, that is a type of water.

O.o do you not read? When did he say he used Fiji? He said he met a sorcerer named Fiji.

[drizzt]

I know, that's type of water my mom drinks.

EDIT:Sorry i wont post here again.

[dannylam4]

That's lovely, but alas, it's pointless as you're not helping this char sheet at all. Don't post here again unless it's actually something helpful.

[dragonboy132]

Do you not know Oceania. It is a stinkin island.

[dannylam4]

What the heck are you talking about? This entire char is completely pointless now. Filled with crap and spam.

[Metri]

Do you know you still need to change your name from dragon