Garin submission

[garin]

Full name: Garin Raul

Other name: Garin

Race: human dragon rider

Side: Nuetral

Birthplace: Dras Leona

Age: 21

Gender: Male

Birthday: 17th of May

Eyes: green, very intense and focused

Hair: dark brown

Weight: 210

Height: 6'1

Magic User: yes

Clothing: Gray pants, plain white tunic, leather glove on left hand, belt with silver buckle, black hooded cloak, and a silver chain around his neck. He also wears an emerald ring on his fourth finger that has a strange symbol on it. The symbol is simple but elegant with many weaving patterns. He wears brown leather boots that are a few inches below the knee. In battle he wears black armour with a black and purple cape. Never wears a helmet so he won't lose sight.

Preferred weapons: A sword of excellent craft that he had made on his own, belted on his left side seeing he is right handed. It has a diamond on the hilt and pommel and an identical symbol on his ring that is on the blade. His sword is very hard to break. He named his sword Atlam'Zar. Or Atlam for short. A bow made of yew with a string that would never break that is slung across his back. He has an identical dagger to his sword that he keeps on the back of his belt.

Personality: Headstrong, brave, looks like he doesn't care but he does, jokes a lot, and once his temper gets going its hard to stop. He is very charming. He always gets into trouble. He especially gets into fights with other boys. Likes to show off.

Likes and Dislikes: Likes to show off, win money in contests. Enjoys practicing his skill with sword and bow and drawing. Likes spending his money on weird inventions. Really loves to metal work. Likes to exercise his already muscular body. Dislikes bratty rich kids who are stuck up and spoiled. Dislikes any people against justice and despises Galbatorix and his supporters.

Family: Has no siblings. His fathers name is Evan and his mothers name is Elena.

Brief History: Garin was raised in Teirm by his father because his mother left him. His father never really paid attention to him. All his father ever did was yell at him for making mistakes in his metalworking before he retired. He was taught the sword and bow by one of his school teachers. He mastered them both at the age of 14. Now he is reknown as the best metalworker in the city of Teirm who was making tons of money until he retired. Many of the girls like him though he doesn’t pay any attention. He always hangs out with his friends at local pubs. You can find him either at his house or at the entrance of the city gates. When he just turned 21 he was exploring out of the city. He found a black and white polished stone. Taking it home he kept it hidden in his closet. When he was opening his closet one day a dragon hatchling fell on his outstretched arm. The gedwey ignasia was forming on his palm and he was astonished. He thought if he was going to be a dragon rider he wouldn't be able to work in the blacksmith if he was a rider going against Galbatorix. So he named his black and white dragon Celeron or Cel for short.

Anything Else:He is very good at hunting silently, tracking, and drawing. He is a great metalworker, one of the best in Dras’ Leona although he retired. Always has an iron wall protecting his mind. He is the best swordsman and bowman in town defeating everyone.


Dragon Description

Name: Celeron

Age: 11 months old

Gender: male

Scale Color: black

Eye color: green

Personality: Celeron is quiet and speaks when he needs to or is answering someone. His personality is mysterious, careful, funny, and strong. He likes flying for hours at a time and swimming. He is always there when you need him to be but is sometimes stubborn. He is 11 feet in height, 17 feet long, and weighs 430 pounds. Overall he is wise, quiet, ferocious, and is great at aerial combat.

[dannylam4]

WHAT THE HELL IS THIS CRAP?! Read the rules! The char sheets! >< Do NOT just steal your charsheet from a different RP site, it's clearly not the same.

[argetbrisingr]

yeah...i noticed that when i saw it...???

[dannylam4]

Stop posting in the char sheets unless it's actually helpful... Redo EVERYTHING and post saying that you changed, then I'll look at it.

[garin]

i didn't copy it from a different rp i am the original person that created the character Garin.

[dannylam4]

I meant you probably used this char sheet in another forum. The charsheet design is still wrong. Read. The. Rules. Then fix it.

[Nihael]

I think I even now which site he copied and pasted the app from.
1. No coloured blades.
2. I doubt a Rider would spend his time metalworking.
3. Dragon is too old
4. Describing what this "weird" symbol looks like would help
5. How does he make tons of money as a metalworker if he spends his time locked up in his room drawing?

[garin]

1. why no colored blades?
2. whats wrong with a dragon rider who enjoys metalworking?
3. i'll change how old dragon is
4. he locks himself in his room drawing but he still has to do metalworking so i'll make that more clear
5. kinda hard to describe what the symbol looks like and if i did it wouldn't make any sense at all

[Nihael]

1. Because it would be too close to a Rider's sword, all of which were destroyed.
2. It would be fine if he likes doing it in his free time, but you have him as a renowned metal-worker, i.e. he devotes all his time to it. Any Rider in the Empire would be forced to kneel to Galbatorix and work for him, training and doing evil deeds and whatnot.
5. Try and use your imagination. You don't have to weave a vivid picture, just a basic design, so we have some idea what it looks like.

[garin]

alright i'll fix it up

[Nihael]

Retired? At 21? That is rather young. Also, how did he come across his Dragon's egg (should have mentioned that the first time) and you say he most of the time, locks himself up to draw, yet he always hangs out with his friends... how is this possible? You mention nothing of him reacting with his dragon, and where he stays, I am assuming outside the city, but where does he have time between all the metal-working, drawing and hanging out with friends. There is also the problem of Galbatorix not letting a Rider go unmolested outside his influence. This needs quite a bit of work still.

[Metri]

Yes and I highly doubt anything would be mastered at 14 years of age. If you want to be a rider you need to have an rp sample in your profile. You need to make you character on the Empire's side not a neutral.